history wont repeat itself
ive been told by my friend conor that i should write a book about my life one day,and i probably should. im not going to write out all the little dramas that happen to me on this but i will write the one thats had the most impact on me and my character.
about 3 years ago i moved school, i had to. the people in my old year had all turned on me for a reason i gave up trying to understand a looong time ago. when i moved i blamed myself for everything. it was my fault,i had to change,a new me. people wouldnt like the old me. i had lost control over my life completely so i decided to completely recreate my new one. this is when i started to count calories constantly and exercise every day. i had time for all this, i hadnt made any news friends and the ones i sat with i wasnt going to let in as easy as id let the people in my old school. i eat slept and breathed weight loss and fitness. its all i thought about. after a few months my parents realized their usually chubby daughter had completely slimmed down and they sent me to a dietician. over the next year i was sent from dietician to therapist to another therapist. all this time losing more weight. and fights at home over it got worse and worse.
within a year of moving to my new school i had lost more than two stone. i was severely underweight,had no boobs or shape and my period had left only two months into this faze. i always think of what i hard time i put my two younger sisters through,the fights and screaming and watching me waste away and stop talking and laughing like i used to.i went through a stage of making myself sick and binging for a while aswell. id smuggle food into my pockets and throw it down the toilet so my parents wouldnt know how little i had actually eaten. but after a few months with the same therapist i started to understand what triggered my different actions and why everything had happened. i was able to stop myself from controlling everything as much now.
its a year and a half on from when i reached a goal weight and left the therapy and im still the same weight. i exercise more and more every week and eat really healthy most of the time. my periods came back two weeks ago (YAY).
even though what i went through was hell i wouldnt change it. its made me a better stronger person. a better friend,sister,daughter,cousin.
this is only an outlline of the story but its im finished now.
if you look at my dad in the background,his face says everything about how worried the whole house was at this time